The Positive Side of Being “Bored”

Why is it that as parents we are always trying to find ways to keep our children busy with activities, technology, etcetera? Are we afraid of hearing the dreaded words “I’m bored” from them? Living in such a fast paced world has made children so dependent on outside structure and stimulation that they don’t know what it’s like to slow down and think for themselves. If we stop and think about it, is a little boredom such a terrible thing? The reality is a little boredom isn’t bad. It’s actually good. Unstructured time gives children the opportunity to explore the internal world of their own minds. This is how they learn to engage with themselves and the world, to imagine, invent and create. Kids who lose the ability to daydream become restless adults, searching for stimulation and distraction.

Here are some thoughts to help your children release the “bored monster” and engage their creative energy.

To begin, cut down on the amount of time your children spend engaged with technology. This includes the television, computer, phones and video game systems. Agree on a maximum time per day or per week and then let them decide how to use it.

Next, make a plan for unscheduled, unstructured, unhurried time each day, including weekends. Resist the temptation to rescue the kids when they say they’re bored and become frustrated when left to entertain themselves. Instead, let them know you have complete confidence in their ability to figure out how to spend their time. To help begin the process, brainstorm a list of activities with your children that can be kept and used as needed. Put individual ideas onto to small pieces of paper, place them in a container and have the kids pull a few to choose from. Also, make sure to keep plenty of art supplies on hand, in addition to other materials that made be thought of as “junk” such as scraps of material, large boxes, paper towel rolls, plastic milk cartons…the list is endless.

Don’t forget the outdoors and don’t be afraid of the weather. There’s nothing better than tromping in puddles during a summer rain, building a fort, or pretending to be explorers and superheroes. Let the kids run and tumble. They’ll come in dirty but tired and happy.

Finally, be a good role model and demonstrate for your children the creative use of downtime. Let the kids see you read, engage in a hobby, or putter around. You may find that leaving technology and structured activity behind is as difficult for you as it is for the kids but it’s worth doing.

Does all this mean that there’s no room for structured activities? Of course not, but there are definitely moments when a little bit of boredom is not only good but essential. Allowing your kids to occasionally get bored means not only expanding their personal creativity but when you do arrange activities, they might actually appreciate and get excited about them. Giving your children the gift of regular unstructured time and your confidence they will know how to use it will enable them to cope with boredom, develop personal resources, and learn to manage their time well.

Danette Palomar, LCPC