Raising Kids Who Care

Now that the holidays are upon us, I find myself thinking about what my children understand about this “season of giving.” As, I watch them become bombarded with the never ending stream of commercialized advertisements on the television, in print and on line for the latest toy or game, I wonder if I have taught my own children how to give back. So the question that pops to mind is: How do you raise kids who care? Thankfully, something always happens to remind me that teaching compassion occurs daily.

Just the other day, my preschooler was so concerned when a stray young dog was found outside of her school. She watched as several adults attempted to get the animal to enter a yard in order for the local humane society to come for him. She recognized that the animal was frightened and could not be coaxed with words. On the way home, she decided the adults needed dog treats in order to accomplish this task. We went home, found a box of our dog’s biscuits and brought them back to her school. For an entire week, she checked in with the school receptionist to find out if the dog was returned home. This was followed by my adolescent cousin’s daily facebook posting about her concerns that the leader dog that she was fostering and training for the past year would not pass her final exam in order to move forward in the program with the Lighthouse of the Blind. So, how can you help your kids learn to give back and develop compassion, especially during this holiday season.

First, be an example for your child or teen. Let them see you volunteering or making charitable contributions. Think about the different activities that you already engage in and share your experiences with your children. It can be as simple as time spent volunteering at your child’s school or making monitory donations to a children’s program or veteran’s group.

Second, have a discussion. Talk about the charitable work that you do. Explain why you choose to spend your time on certain volunteer activities or to donate to a certain organization. Engage your child or teen in conversations regarding the types of causes they may or may not be interested in supporting.

Third, encourage your child or teen to volunteer or donate. This is the time of the year when there are countless food, clothing and toy drives. Have your child donate some of their gently used toys or clothes. Or even spend time volunteering together. Remember, giving back does not have to be monetary in nature. Be creative and enjoy the process as well as the outcome.

Kimberly Mula, Psy.D

Licensed Clinical Psychologist